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The Emotional Roller Coaster called Locktober

Posted by Mistress Carol on 11/23/2020
One of Mistress Carol's chastity slaves has shared his feelings and experiences during his successful Locktober chastity challenge. What would it be like to experience long-term hypnotic chastity? Read his thoughts about his journey below. 

 Locktober Day 1 So it begins, the month long period of chastity and denial. Mistress was generous and granted me one final orgasm before being locked down. However, the session where the release was granted also contained a powerful post-hypnotic suggestion to feel horny. So, despite receiving one of Mistress’ wonderful and exquisite tranced out orgasms, I am already desperately horny. On Day 1 of Loctober. Mistress warned me that this would be a long and hard month and as always, She is right. I now have this constant background noise of horniness and arousal. If I do not focus my mind on anything, it will on its own accord wander into wonderland of sexual fantasies, which makes me even hornier. The 3-D audio effect in the session also triggered my imagination. The session gives the illusion that Mistress's voice is coming from behind the listener. This simple idea of Mistress being behind me and having Her wicked way with my body and mind became a starting point for a multitude of fantasies that teased and tormented my mind. In these fantasies my collar is locked with a short chain to a wall that I am facing. Mistress is behind me, alternating between whispering Her sweet honied words into my ear, spanking my ass with a leather paddle, playing with Her Tool (formerly my cock) or my nipples. 

Loctober Day 2 This is the big day. The day when I will formally be locked. Unlike most I won't have a physical cage, my cage will mental. It will take form in post hypnotic suggestion that presumably will prevent me from having an orgasm or masturbating. I would love to describe what the session 30-day chastity was like, but it apparently involved an amnesia trigger, so I can't remember any of it. All I can tell is that it worked. As with any bondage, testing the strength of the bindings is part of the fun. So I just had to test how well it worked. I tried touching myself to no avail. My hand simply refuses to go there. I tried to slowly sneak it in by first laying it on my lap and then trying to slowly approach the target area, but as I started to close in my hand simply went limp. My subconscious simply refuses to let me touch myself. Simply giving serious consideration to attempting to play with myself gives me the same feeling of dread and apprehension as thinking about beating my testicles with a hammer does. So I am well and truly locked without any chance of backing out. There is no spare emergency key I can use. No amount of begging or bribery towards Mistress will undo this either. Whatever else might happen in October, masturbation and orgasms will not. I just must come to terms with that. I felt a bit scared and anxious when the realization of this fact hit me. At the same I felt relief. It's out of my hands now so I might as well enjoy the wild ride ahead. Mistress Carol is a wonderful and caring Mistress, and I am safe hands for the duration. I am extremely excited to find out what She will do to me now that I am locked. 

Loctober Days 3 and 4 Slowly starting to adjust to the reality of my current situation. The feelings of arousal are still here and made so much more intense by the first real teasing session that Mistress Carol had granted. In addition to general horniness I have started to feel a growing need to serve and please Mistress. It has always been there, but it is starting to amplify. Hands Free Orgasms must be the most wickedly evil tease that a chastity slave can be subjected. Your mind goes through that sweet, wonderful moment of ecstasy while your body is left denied. And since the limitations of male physiology are not a factor, Mistress can induce as many orgasms as She likes. These sessions make me want play with myself so bad, but I cannot. It is just a wicked tease and I love it. It is an incredible feeling bathing in the afterglow of multiple orgasm and being desperately horny and wanting to stroke yourself all at the same time. Its real mindfuck and it’s a privilege to be mindfucked by true expert like Mistress Carol. 

Loctober Day 5 Since in the past few days I have been mostly lamenting the fact that I cannot masturbate and play with myself anymore, it would probably be good to write about what makes chastity great. If I think about it what have do, I lose while being in chastity? Instant gratification. When I am not in chastity every time, I get aroused, I can almost immediately satisfy that urge. At its worst this leads to sexual self-pleasure being a simple bodily function where bodily fluids are excreted from the body. Like going to the bathroom. Overtime it gets dull as most things that are easily and readily available. While in chastity that simple release is not available, I must live with that sense of arousal that just builds up as time passes. Chastity is not about releasing sexual arousal, it is about enjoying it, savouring it, cherishing how good it feels to be horny. Being locked up like this for a fixed duration with no way out is a way to experience levels of arousal never experienced before, because let's face it by week 3 or 4 of October, most of us will be in a place where, if it were possible we could not resist the temptation. The level of arousal can become so intoxicatingly intense that once release is finally granted and the feeling of blissful ecstasy has based, I sometimes feel sense of loss, a sadness at the intense feeling that I had, which is now gone. The intense arousal also makes me more sensitive to arousing things. Things and situations that would under normal circumstance would not really arouse, become intensely erotic after a few weeks of chastity. Having access denied to one’s cock, forces me to seek alternative sources of sexual enjoyment. I have developed a taste for nipple play/torture and masochism in general. All those alternative forms of sex are intensified as a result of chastity. The moment of release, when it finally comes, is pure magic and wonder. The first touch, or the first erection for those of us who are wearing physical cages, is simply exquisite, never mind stroking it or cumming for the first time after being denied. Its pure unfiltered ecstatic bliss. Delaying gratification makes the experience so much better that comparing post chastity orgasms to pre-chastity ones is almost pointless. Finally, being aroused and not being able to release it builds up enormous amounts of sexual energy that can be redirected to other purposes. Be it self-improvement, focusing on pleasing your partner, becoming a better submissive for your Mistress. Putting a submissive into chastity is a wickedly effective training tool for any dominant. A horny sub is a compliant sub, and the mind-blowing orgasms are a wonderful carrot to motivate desired behaviour in a sub. Therefore, I do not see chastity as a punishment or as taking something away from the sub. It’s a precious gift, probably the most precious gift a powerful, dominant woman can give her submissive. I am incredibly grateful that I get to be Mistress Carol's chastity slave, to have Her make decision about when and how I get to play with Her Tool. I grateful for every day I am chaste and in a state of intense arousal, for every teasing session, every edging session and every single one of the absolutely mind shattering orgasms You have granted. 

Loctober Day 20 Work. Unexpected things happened at work, which put something of a bummer on enjoying loctober. Hence no blogging. It was not all work and no play. Being in chastity and losing the ability to play with one’s cock is an opportunity to experience things that you would not normally think of. For me, this time it was anal. I have always been a bit apprehensive about engaging anal play, but being chaste, horny and with limited means of sexual relief I crossed this hurdle. Went to my local sex shop, bought a beginner’s prostate massager kit and some lube. The moment when that silicon toy finally slid up my rectum was one of pure joy and wonder. It felt like I had stepped into a whole new world. So instead of longing to play with my safely locked cock, I have been playing with my ass. One major downside is that manipulating the prostate massager is a bit awkward, so I purchased a vibrating one. So locktober so far has been less about lamenting the loss of the ability to masturbate and more about celebrating alternative ways of having sex. 11 days to go, so we will see how this will end up. 

Loctober Day 21-23 Hurray! Communications have been re-established with Mistress Carol. There was a technical issue which caused my emails not to go through. So now I have my end of Loctober teasing assignment. The assignment involves listening to a very intense erotic hypnosis session that basically turns your arousal levels to the point where once you come out of the trance you will instantly grab your hard cock and start stroking it like there is no tomorrow. Since I have a post-hypnotic suggestion in my mind that prevents me from touching Mistress's Tool (formerly my cock) during October the masturbation part did not happen. Usual what happens is that my hands suddenly feel like they weigh a ton, I can't move them, so all I can do is writhe on my bed in a very confusing mix of ecstatic arousal and intense frustration as I am completely mind fucked by the Mistress's conflicting suggestions. This time was different, I could move my hands but there was no touching Mistress's Tool. Instead I grabbed the prostate massager that I have been playing with for the past few days, lubed the bad boy up and up the ass it went. What followed was the most intense ass fucking I have given myself so far. Previous play sessions with the massager were careful tentative explorations. This was not, I was fucking my ass with the same intensity I would have been stroking Mistress's Tool if I had permission. I took a good few minute. Could have continued but I stopped when I noticed a small spec of faecal matter at the end of the toy. Went to wash it off and called it a day. I am a bit bewildered by the experience, I am still horny but at the same time strangely satisfied. Loctober Day 24-25 So horny, so very horny. I had today the same teasing session as yesterday. A deep trance where Mistress turned up arousal level up to 11, lots of mental imagery of Mistress's leather gloved hand stroking Her Tool, leaving the trance with a intense desire stroke and cum without any possibility of actually acting out that desire. Followed by a bout of fucking my prostate with the prostate massager, which feels amazing, but me hornier. I just want to touch it. Just a little bit. A few strokes, maybe even a edge. Not being able to touch Mistress's Tool, that is the worst of it. I am enjoying having my mind marinated in chastity induced lust, so I am not sure if I want to cum yet. (might come to regret saying that) I know from experience that cumming after a long chastity period can come with a massive amounts of sub drop. It doesn't always happen. Edging would be fabulous. But I cannot. Its deeply frustrating. One more week and then I can start begging for relief. The uncertainty of my post loctober faith is delicious mind fuck. Uncertainty over when the next release is going to come is one the biggest things that I enjoy about chastity play. When you surrender control over your sexual releases to another person, you never know when you might receive pleasure. I really love that feeling of uncertainty and all wonderful mind games that it helps to facilitate. 

Loctober Day 26 The final week of Loctober has started. My mind is battleground between two conflicting forces. On one hand is intense arousal, the need to touch, stroke, edge and eventually cum. On the other side is Mistress's ironclad directive to remain chaste that has been burned deep into my mind. It starts with the desire to play with Mistress's Tool, with festers in my mind until I can't take it anymore and the intent to touch it emerges only to be immediately shot down by a massive feeling apprehension. The idea of touching that just seconds ago felt irresistible fills me with anxiety. The mere thought fills me with the same level of dread as taking a hammering on the testicles with sledgehammer. To my subconscious the thought of disobeying Mistress and betraying my vow to remain chaste is that strong. Then I feel horny, frustrated and confused as my mind tries to make sense of this clusterfuck of emotions and desires. And the realization dawns that I have been thoroughly mind fucked. Which makes me feel helpless and extremely submissive. Being used like in turn makes me horny again and eventually the cycle begins again. It’s wonderful being so expertly mind fucked. 

Loctober Day 27-29 Almost at the end of Loctober. Mistress has assigned me a new hypnotic teasing session. The previous session I was listening to was an intense overt teasing session where arousal levels were turned up agonizingly high I was left writhing in a moment supreme arousal and frustrated denial. This one was completely different, a much more subtle and insidious. It is in an hour-long session that I cannot remember because of the hypnotic amnesia triggers. I love posthypnotic amnesia. It's one thing to have one's mind programmed while you are aware of what is being done to you, it's a whole other level of helplessness being programmed and not even knowing what was put into your mind. Being subjected to that makes me a bit paranoid about my own thoughts and feelings. I am more sensitive to them as I try to figure out what the effect of the session was. In this case the word Overpowered (the name of the session) has been echoing in my mind in those moments when I am not actively thinking about something. Furthermore, that word makes horny and hard. My imagination starts to conjure up fantasies about being overpowered and sexually used by dominant women in various ways. Like • Being pinned down on a bed and being made to beg for and ultimately being pegged with a strapon. • Being pinned down on a bed, face sat on and made to perform oral on Mistress. • Being pushed against a wall, being forcefully made to cum and being left to clean the resulting mess. Therefore, I think erotic hypnosis is the highest form of erotica out there. I listened to an hour-long audio clip, contents of which I cannot remember anything of and yet it has been teasing my mind for days. There are few porn films and images that have managed to capture my imagination in this manner. I think the big difference is that most forms of porn are an explicit expression of someone's fantasy, while erotic hypnosis makes one dream and fantasize new fantasies on your own. 

Loctober Day 30-31 Its done. I made it. 31 days of hypnotically induced chastity. It has been one hell of an adventure. Everything did not go as initial planned or intended, but then again if it had it would not have been much of an adventure. I am deeply grateful for Mistress Carol that She took me on this journey. I feel strangely calm. Being aroused and not relieving that arousal has started to feel normal. Although I can only imagine how good it will feel once Mistress grants me permission to play with Her Tool. Even though Loctober is over I am still not free. I need Mistress's permission to fully undo the hypnotic suggestions that bind. What will She put me through before I am released, I don't know. I am completely at Her mercy and I feel amazingly submissive and aroused by that thought

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